Think twice before dealing with the black cat
by Izanagi00
Summary: The Kousaka siblings find themselves drawn into embarassing/uncomfortable situations thanks to a certain goth loli friend of theirs, who doesn't always act alone. Collection of short stories depicting some of Kuroneko's finest antics.


**AN: This is a short story that I came up with a few days ago. This is supposed to be a comical story, in which Kuroneko's hobby is making the siblings' life more complicated than it already is. So no romance this time.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ore no Imouto, the creator and author is Tsukasa Fushimi. **

* * *

**Think twice before dealing with the black cat**

Hello, Kousaka Kyousuke here. Just a normal highschool student with nothing extraordinary on my side. Or so I would like to keep thinking. My life was normal, very, veeeery normal. I said 'was' because it really was so until I discovered my sister's hobby, with whom I wasn't in good terms with. After that everything just changed. I got dragged into her life and we became somewhat closer once again. Thanks to her I got to meet some interesting people (_or_ _thanks to me I should say_) who are usually fun to hang out with. And I mean usually, because sometimes, those nice friends get us in situations that only they could come up with. Specially this small girl that always wears a goth loli dress and likes to go by a handle name. And in case you are wondering, yes, right now we are in one of those situations.

"I…..I… I-I-love…"

"Come on! Put more emotion on it! And speak louder!"

"…..…I….I…..love you!….oniichan…"

"…..….."

Yes she really just said that. Kirino actually told me that she loves me. And she even referred to me as 'oniichan'.

Now how did this happen you wonder? Well, it all goes back to six days ago. Apparently, during their routine meeting at the maid café, Kirino and Kuroneko got into a heated argument about which anime deserved the top spot in the upcoming DVD sales ranking that was two days away. Their argument went slightly overboard that not even Saori could stop them. It was only after a warning by the management to behave or leave that they calmed down. Later, just as they were to part ways, they almost resumed their fighting but all of a sudden Kuroneko came up with an idea. She made a bet with Kirino about the upcoming ranking, with the loser having to simply follow one of the winner's orders. Saori told me that she tried to stop them since she was sure what the results of the ranking would be, but when it comes to Kirino's stubbornness, it was obvious she wasn't going to back down. Besides, although I might never tell her directly, I get the feeling that Saori knows when some amusing situation can develop, and she just goes with the flow and invisibly aids the party with the advantage.

Honestly I would have ignored this right away, I mean, who doesn't make bets with friends and have the loser do as the other says? I did that once with Akagi and it wasn't a big deal, at least for him. I mean, I never thought that he would actually do as I said and call his sister over the phone and tell her that he loves her. (Although he was kinda depressed the following day)

Anyway, here we are now, and a bad premonition I had earlier in the morning is currently becoming reality. You see, for some unexplainable reason, the universe decided that the following day after school, I would also start an argument with Kuroneko over the outcome of some trivial matter, just 9 minutes before I found out about her bet with Kirino. And as you may start to realize now, yes, that argument eventually led to me making a bet with her. A bet with an outcome highly against my prediction. The prize?... Ain't it obvious? Oh, and how did I find out about her previous bet? Right after I shook hands with Kuroneko I received a call from Saori. And again, for some other unexplainable reason, I decided to put my cell on speaker so that Kuroneko could listen as well. After telling her about my bet, she told me about Kirino's. I turned to Kuroneko and saw an unbelievably annoying grin on her face. At that very moment, I was completely speechless. Why did I have to accept that bet? No, actually, why couldn't Saori have called 9 minutes earlier? Did she really have no idea I was gonna do the exact same thing with Kuroneko?

After I hung up I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, and then

"Lets call off the bet, I beg you!"

"You gave me your word human. Don't throw your pride away." After that she let out a small laugh

"But ….. but"

"See you then senpai. I'll be waiting for the results." Another laugh, and then she went her way.

I let out a sigh, and just hoped that any god would listen to my prayers that whatever Kuroneko comes up with, it won't be anything crazy.

Five days after that, today, a Sunday, Kuroneko came by with Saori. By this day the results of the bets were already known.

When I opened the door, I noticed both of them carrying some medium sized plastic boxes and a laptop. I wasn't sure why but at that instant the image of film crew flashed through my mind.

"Go-good morning. What brings you both here?"

"Uh? Didn't she tell you senpai? I told her we were coming over today.'

"Eh? N-no wonder she hasn't come out of her room yet….."

"So are you gonna leave us here?"

(Actually I would really like to do so right now…..) "O-of course not. Come in….haha"

They went to the living room, Kuroneko pulled out her laptop and Saori started unpacking the boxes.

"Are those….. microphones?"

Saori took a set of microphones from the plastic boxes. They looked quite expensive, like a professional set.

"Yes, don't worry about that senpai. Both of us will handle all the technical details."

"Technical details?" I looked at Saori with a questioning look, but she only smiled and continued setting up the equipment.

"Uhm….. may I know what exactly do you plan to do?"

"In a few moments you will know senpai. Now bring your sister here please. She is not answering my calls."

"Kirino?... wait is this about the bet?" At that moment I saw Kuroneko grin like the previous time again. And of course that meant she had something bad for Kirino and me waiting.

"Hurry up senpai. I know your parents won't be home for the day so let's not waste time."

I just sighed in complete defeat and went upstairs to see Kirino. Once I was at her door I knocked three times but she did not reply.

"Kirino, I know you are there please open the door." Still no reply

"Kirino? …I'm coming in."

I tried to open the door but it was locked. So I took my key and opened it. Surprisingly Kirino herself gave me a key a while ago, after hearing me complain how my door did not have a lock and how she would come in at any time without notice.

Once inside I saw her laying on her bed with her face buried into her pillow.

"Who told you you could come in?"

"Uhm myself?" At my reply she looked at me slightly annoyed but then went back to her pillow.

"Why are Kuroneko and Saori building a recording studio at the living room?"

"Recording studio?" She replied with more interest this time.

"Do you know what is she planning to do?"

"Wait Saori is here too?"

"Like I said, do you know what is going on?" At my question she went silent for a while and then in a low voice replied

"I guess it is about the bet…"

"Uh? Did you say bet?"

"I don't know. She just told me yesterday that she was coming over today."

"Then why didn't you go downstairs?"

"Because I knew what she was coming for."

"So you knew or not?...….. nevermind." I sighed once again and finally comprehended the situation. Kuroneko is here to 'claim' her prizes.

"What was that about the recording studio you said?"

"Go see it by yourself." At that instant I turned around to leave and saw Kuroneko who had been standing right behind me with an amused look.

"Ahh!" Both Kirino and I screamed in surprise upon seeing her.

"So, are you two ready?"

"Ready for what?" Replied both of us at the same time, but unlike me who did so with a nervous tone, Kirino replied with a defiant one.

"You know what for. I won, you lost. It's time for my payment."

"I won't get out of here. You knew what the results were going to be and yet you set me up with that bet didn't you?" Answered Kirino who was now trying to push me out of her room.

"Ara ara, don't be a sore loser. If I remember correctly you accepted right away and most importantly you were the one who said what the prize would be."

"Uhg….."

So she confidently went against the odds? *Sigh* Kirino if it wasn't for your pride…..… wait didn't I do the same?

"Now, let's go downstairs. Come 'on."

"No. I'm not going." Kirino I don't think your stubbornness will work this time….

"K-Kirino I think we should-"

"No! She cheated so this isn't fair."

"Ara, so you won't comply?"

"No."

At that moment Kuroneko got closer to me

"I see. Okay then. Senpai, there is something you need to know."

After she said that Kirino flinched as if she knew what she was going to say.

"W-what is it?"

"You see, your sister actually-"

"wahwahwah!" At that instant Kirino interrupted Kuroneko by standing between us and waving her arms frantically.

"Hey Kirino what was that for?"

"Shut up. You don't need to hear anything!"

This time she started dragging Kuroneko downstairs, and I could see her with a victory grin all the way to the living room.

I sighed one more time and followed them.

Once we entered the living room, Saori's face lit up as soon as she saw us.

"Oh you finally came down. Good morning Kiririn-shi."

"Ohayo Saori…" replied Kirino in a gloomy tone.

"Everything is ready Kuroneko-shi. Do you have the scripts with you?"

Scripts? Are we gonna…

"Yes. Here senpai, Kirino, these are for you."

Kuroneko handed us two small notebooks. They weren't that thick, but they showed quite some wear, as if they had been opened and the pages had been flipped over countless times. The cover of the notebook I received had nothing but the letter A written on it. I glanced at Kirino's and it had the letter I.

"So what is this all about?" Inquired Kirino with an uninterested tone.

"It's simple. I need your voices. You two have to act those scripts I just gave you. Saori is also playing a role."

"Ah" Muttered Kirino, this time with a hint of interest. On the other hand, I still had a weird feeling about this. For some reason I felt like I shouldn't open this notebook.

"So this is all we have to do? Seriously…. and I thought you were going to make us do something weird."

Uhmm Kirino-san? I don't think it is time to let your guard down yet…..

"I guess it can't be helped, since you want to record my precious voice so much….." Right after her reply I saw yet another annoying grin on Kuroneko's face.

"K-Kirino…."

"So? What are we performing? A play? Or..… don't tell me it is a visual novel?"

Eh? What is my imagination just now? I swear I saw Kuroneko's eyes shine at the mention of 'visual novel'

"Heh, you finally found out."

At Kuroneko's answer, Kirino went over a 180 degree change and became completely excited

"Ehhh? Seriously? We are gonna voice a visual novel?"

"….A visual novel?"

"Yes. It is a small project Saori and I have been working on for a while."

"A secret project between you two?… well, I guess it won't be bad after all. Kirino seems really excited about it."

"I'm sure you'll enjoy it too senpai."

"I hope so." Thank goodness it was just a visual novel….….. wait a minute.

At that moment it finally struck me.

"You said visual novel?"

"Yes, we are making a visual novel, and we decided that both Kiririn-shi and Kyousuke-shi should have a role as well."

"More like MUST have a role."

Kirino, as if noticing my sudden realization, stopped her excitement and, with her hands on her hips turned towards me.

"What is it with you now? Are you the one that wants to back out now?"

If only I could do that my dear sister!

"Uhm, in case you missed it they said we are voicing a visual novel."

"Yes I know, so? What are you trying to say?"

"A VISUAL NOVEL."

"Eh? I don't get you, what are you-" Then she stopped and her face completely froze. Yes, she finally realized!

"Visual….. novel?" Yes, a visual novel Kirino! You know what that means…..

At that instant, as if our minds were connected, both of us shouted the same question at the other two in unison

"AN EROGEEEE?"

Saori flinched and backed with her hands in the air as if saying she is innocent, while Kuroneko didn't move at all.

"W-w-what are you trying to make us do? You-" Kirino's face was completely red, and from the feeling of mine I could tell that mine was no different.

"Please Kuroneko don't make us do this!"

Kuroneko still didn't move nor change her expression at all. After hearing no response from her I turned to Saori with pledging eyes, which made her uncomfortable.

"Eh…. I'm sorry Kyousuke-shi but you both lost the bet so…."

"You have comply with you part." Completed Kuroneko, with the same annoying grin she's been wearing ever since she got here.

"No way! No way! No way! I'm not doing this with him at all! Never!" Replied Kirino in a very angry tone, and she was about to throw the notebook on the floor when Kuroneko continued

"You know what will happen if you refuse right?" This stopped Kirino once again. Seriously what is it that she knows that is so confidential?

"B-but this is not fair! Why does it have to be an e-e-eroge!?"

"She is right Kuroneko anything but this please." Please I'd rather tell Ayase that I love Kirino like I did that time instead of- …. nevermid that would probably kill me this time.

"My, my. Aren't you rushing into things?"

"What do you mean?"

"I never said it was an eroge."

"Eh?" Replied both of us

"I haven't told you what it is about. You haven't even looked at the scripts yet."

Both of us were still silent. Really, why did I jump into conclusions so fast….

"But judging from your reactions, it seems that such thing was always on your minds."

"Of course not!" Both of us in unison again.

"For a moment you two seemed very enthusiastic. Seriously what can we do with these bro-con sis-con siblings…"

Wha-! I really feel like telling her a thing or two but judging from Kirino's face it seems that she'll do it in my place

"S-shut up! Don't say that again!" Whoa she looks about to jump on Kuroneko

"There there, clam down Kiririn-shi please. Like Kuroneko-shi said this is not an eroge. In fact I'm sure you'll like the story."

"You'll definitely enjoy it."

Uh? Did I hear Kuroneko mumble something again?

"Are you sure?" Now Kirino was asking Saori.

"Yes, I wrote part of the script and I can say that I'm proud of it hehe." Replied Saori, with a hand behind her head and a small but pretty smile.

"Hah….. well if you say so."

Uhm, something still feels off, must mean this is not over yet.

"So? What is it about then?" Asked Kirino to Kuroneko this time.

"Well, it is a story very FAMILIAR to you. So familiar that you are indeed the best choice for the role."

"Familiar?... Wait, Me-Meruru?"

Kuroneko briefly sighed at Kirino's response but quickly responded.

"No, not that tra-…ahem…. not that." Trash, right? You were about to say trash, right?

"Then what is it?"

"Perhaps a dark Maschera-like story?" I asked Kuroneko this time, with the hope of receiving a better answer.

"No. It doesn't have anything to do with any anime."

"Then what is it?" Asked both of us for the 100th time in unison, although with different tones, hers impatient and mine tired.

"It's simple. A little sister that falls in love with her older brother. A forbidden love story. You always play these stories on your eroges right? Although as you already know there are no adult scenes in this game, so don't worry."

… do I really need to describe our reactions this time? Obviously we were both initially silent, but a few seconds later Kirino finally snapped.

"I'm gonna kill you right now!" Whoa! She is going for the neck!

"Kirino wait!" I quickly restrained her from behind, while Kuroneko quickly hid behind Saori, incredibly keeping her grin all the while.

"Calm down Kiririn-shi! Please don't hurt Kuroneko-shi! I also wrote part of the story so Kuroneko-shi is not the only one responsible!"

"Let me go baka!" Kirino was struggling a lot, but thankfully I grabbed her in a position that made it kinda difficult for her to hit me.

"I don't care, she probably forced you too. She is going down anyway!"

"Kirino calm down!" Calm down I say, but seriously…. maybe if I let her hit me and free herself on purpose…

After some minutes of futile struggle, Kirino finally gave up and cooled down. This prompted Kuroneko, who was still using poor Saori as a shield, to come out and bravely stand in front of Kirino.

"Please don't do that again. I still have to take care of my sisters. Besides, you may not want to deal with the powers of the fallen angel."  
This girl…. she really is pushing it. Seriously, Kirino may me done, but my glass hasn't spilled over yet you know?..….

"Okay Kuroneko please stop teasing her. Let's just get this over with."

"Hai hai. Then let's start. You just read your lines, but with proper emotions of course."

Kuroneko proceed to take a seat next to her laptop, and for an instant she seemed like a movie director in his seat ready to give orders.

"Wait, we still don't know our roles." Asked Kirino with a voice that sounded like resignation, and uhm, did Saori just sigh right now? And now she is whispering in Kuroneko's ear, I guess this means-

"K-Kuroneko-shi I think we should stop now before-"

"Oh, well, isn't it obvious? Who else has experience as a little sister with an older brother here? Last time I checked I don't have any older siblings and Saori has an older sister."

"K-Kuroneko-shi! Seriously let's stop right n-"

"T-then that means that Kirino is… and I am….."

"Huhu, exactly. It is as you say, senpai."

That was it. At that instant, even though I did see it coming a thousand miles ago, I snapped and, just like Kirino, went for Kuroneko's neck.

I know Kirino doing so was kinda expected and in no way to be taken as life threatening. To be honest, I intended to do it as a comical gesture, but I still felt the urge to do so just to scare Kuroneko a little, enough to put her in her place for at least some minutes. Surprisingly though, the only ones that managed to get seriously scared were Kirino, who immediately proceeded to restrain me in the exact same way I did some minutes ago (talk about fast learners) and Saori, who was frozen in place, with a surprised face that gave me a mental laugh and regret at the same time.

"Wha- wait aniki stop!"

Kirino was holding me in place, or more like I was letting her hold me. Kuroneko, was of course, once again behind Saori, her amused look not missing at all.

"Ara ara, senpai, were you really just about to attack a girl?"

Uh, I think I just gave them an unwanted sight of me. Maybe I went a little overbo- wait did I just see Kuroneko's leg shake slighlty for a second there? Hehh, I guess it was worth it after all.

"K-K-Kyousuke-shi….."

Eh? Oh no Saori is actually scared. I really overdid it for her it seems. Better calm down now and apologize.

"Aniki? Y-you okay now?" Kirino still seems surprised as well. *sigh* I really gotta give it to Kuroneko for her bravery, although I still managed to scare her a little.

Heh, at least that'll feel like a little victory for me.

"Yes I'm okay. You can let me go."

"Uhn." Kirino just nodded and released me. Then I looked at Saori and bowed.

"I'm sorry Saori, it seems I scared you. I didn't really intend to do that to you."

"Eh? N-no it's okay. D-don't worry about it Kyousuke-shi."

"You scared poor Saori. Really, senpai…."

Ugh… ignore her ignore her…...

"A-anyway let's get started once and for all, shall we?" Suggested Saori.

Kirino and I briefly looked at each other with slight blushes on our faces, and nodded in defeat.

"Haaai~" In unison once again!

And there you have it. This is how we got into this mess. This is why Kirino had to say those embarrassing lines and, worst of all, Kuroneko somehow managed to get her to say that while looking directly into my eyes. That brought unwanted but thankfully short-lived emotions into my head that would give Ayase more than enough reasons to terminate my life.

The novel was quite short, just over a hundred lines for each of us. Well, Saori played the role of the sister's friend, who wasn't a love interest for the protagonist at all, so she had even less lines. Therefore, the only route in this game of theirs was the one with the forbidden love, and it even had a happy ending, with both siblings staying together forever and their parents inexplicably giving them their blessing. Being Kuroneko's work I was expecting something dark or unusual, but I guess Saori prevented that.

I swear this experience has left me traumatized of bets. Even if money is the actual prize, I still get chills down my spine every time that subject comes around.

My dear kouhai…. One day you'll pay dearly for this.

End.

* * *

**AN: Originally this was going to be a one-shot. But then I though that if I came up with more funny antics for Kuroneko, then I would publish them here, make it a set of short stories instead. So unless I get divine inspiration, most stories will be brief. **

**I'm also working on another fic that involves romance, but I'm stuck without inspiration for now. For a moment I also thought of making a spin-off of this story, this time with romance and all the drama. I'll see how it goes, after all, the idea of having Kirino and Kyousuke voice an imouto galge seems like a good premise that could trigger their hidden emotions lol.**

**Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it and hopefully more stories will come to my head soon.**


End file.
